A Gift Guide for the Witchy Governess in your life!!!
We’re here to help you get a gift that screams “please don’t eat me!”
Are you a frail, vaguely Victorian child with a governess who constantly emerges unsuspected from the shadows? With the help of our guide, finding the perfect gift doesn’t need to be grim!
Skull Cameo Necklace
“Alas, poor Yorick, I wore him well.”
Black Velvet Dress
This dress comes in her favorite color and collar and the velvet makes a swish like the curtains covering the door on the third floor that you are never, ever allowed to open.
*Bustle not included
She's always talking about how she should put aside more time to play with you kids.
She saw Hereditary in theaters and called it a “heartwarming family film.”
Dead Plants photograph
To hang above her bed next to Goya's Saturn Devouring His Son.
Gleaming Black Boots
These are as uncomfortable as your governess makes you feel, but they're easy to clean. Just in case she, say, steps in a puddle. Like, say, the dark puddle you once thought you saw seeping from under the door behind the curtains you’re trying to forget.
A fashion staple!! Now your governess can spend less time working on that tight up-do and more time whispering "no there's definitely no such things as monsters wink" (Except she doesn't say wink. The dark lashes of her right eye slowly kiss as she smiles at you through her bared teeth. You hear a terrifying groan in the distance but maybe just maybe it is only your father lifting himself out of his plush armchair.)
Another new release, ooo ahh!
In non-creepy-governess Halloween news, I made another game! This one is a solo, micro-RPG or LARP that helps you find the words for a spell. The instructions can even be printed as a trifold brochure, which I unabashedly admit I love.
Britt A Willis writes this newsletter and is a playwright, game writer, and designer in Washington, DC. You can find out more about their work at brittawillis.com or follow them on Twitter @feelingfickle.